In the world of the pre-published writer--I can't even write that label with a straight face. What is a pre-published writer, really? If it just means you write stuff that's never been published then there are kajillions of pre-published writers and some of them will never have a passing thought about changing their status. Most likely, no one will ever offer to publish Mary Sue Random's grocery list. But she wrote it, didn't she?
As with everything else, there's a t shirt if you really want to identify yourself this way. To each their own. If I see someone wearing one, I probably won't hit them.
Okay, okay. Some of this anger is a wee bit self-directed. Because I have done wrong. I have done a big, bad, ugly wrong and I can't undo it. Or at least I can't undo it without looking like a complete flaky moron. I'm pretty sure one should avoid that when dealing with one's dream agent.
Because then one has to wear this.
Lo and a month ago, I sent a query to an agent. I'd worked quite a bit on the query and felt it had come a long way since my first draft. Wonder of wonders, I got myself a shiny, happy request for the full. And, no, it wasn't my first. But it was my first from an agent I really, really wanted to like me.
Sidebar (I like sidebars.): I've heard lots of writers say they didn't have a specific agent in mind when they began the process of seeking representation. That they intended to wait and see who they clicked with. To which I reply, Liar, liar, your pants are soooo on fire. Because we all have agents in mind we'd be thrilled to land. It's like going to a party sans date, seeing a hot guy across the room, and saying to yourself "Eh, I could go after him. Or that other guy in the corner. Or that guy over there. Any of them are fine."
That, I hope, doesn't often happen. Sure, unpubbed writers are worthy contenders for the "beggars can't be choosers" mentality. But even the most downtrodden beggars have hopes and dreams, and they are probably pretty specific, too.
Close sidebar.
Yes, I did my research and sent a query that was good enough to get the request I had hoped for. So...yay! Good for me, right?
No. Well, maybe. See, I made a roooookie mistake. I did research about the agent. I did research about the agency where she works. I used Query Tracker and Absolute Write and whatever the hell else I could find. I did NOT, however, type the following specific words into a search box:
Angent Name Interview. That is where I effed myself backwards.
Searching for an agent by name or agency name is fine. Often it spews back all sorts of delectable little morsels of agenty goodness. It doesn't always get the agent's interviews toward the top of the returns. Top billing, as it were. They're usually in there somewhere, but it might be on page 14.
Not good because by page 8 you're usually getting things along the lines of "Agent Awesome will be attending X conference." You know, bit mentions. So you assume you've found all the available information and you end up effed backwards, just like yours truly.
You don't want to join this club. We wear hair shirts and wail from the widow walk of our tree house of stupidity. We have no cookies.
So I got the request for a novel I love. This IS good. But it's not all about what I love. I've written four books. I have a deep affection for all of them. The first two, as mentioned in another post, are pretty haggard. It's like giving birth to a child all the teachers come to hate because he's an irritating little brat but you love him because he's yours.
While I got the request, I got the request for a book Agent Awesome might love. But I have another MS that, according to an interview I JUST READ TODAY, is so close to exactly what she's actively looking for as to be unbelievably coincidental. Truly, her blurb about what she hopes to find is damn close to the query for the other novel.
So, lesson to everyone. Before you query, search specifically for interviews given by your dream agent ('cause you KNOW you have one) and read for content. Don't assume a search with just the agent or agency's name is going to score you the good stuff. Interviews give agents a chance to be candid about what they want and what they're actively looking for at this very moment. That kind of up-to-date information helps.
Don't repeat my stupidity.
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