No matter how many people ask to read my novel, I feel squeeby every single time. Which is crazy because, clearly, agents reading my work is the whole point of sending out queries. It's just...I always have an attack of "what makes you think you have the right to waste very busy people's time with your delusions of authoring?" Every. Time.
Why? Why do I hesitate? Why do I second guess myself until I feel like I'm chasing my own tail?
Due to the wonder of Twittering tweets, I've come into contact with a few authors who have already reached the promise land of publication. I've actually gone beyond the "love your work", "hey thanks" stage with a couple of them. And so, yes, I asked if this is a common feeling.
One author told me she emailed her MS to an agent and then emailed an hour later asking the agent to disregard the novel because she, the author, was a million and a quarter percent sure it sucked. I haven't done that. Yet.
Lovely author and I continued the discussion and I asked if this feeling of "I'm not good enough" ever goes away completely. She sent me an LOL and a smiley face and a big fat "hell no."
Awesome.
Now I've come to an important conclusion. It does not matter if I think I suck. I will cheerily think of my self as a cesspool of suck...as long as agents, editors, and readers think I'm wrong.
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